3 Easy Tips on How to Meet New Mom Friends
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In This Guide
Everything in life changes after you’ve had a baby. Your priorities change, the items in your handbag is replaced, and your schedule may become busier, or at least different from your friends.
Keeping up with your old friends who are all about going to the gym or to the bar is hard. It can seem impossible to find time to get together and sometimes even more difficult to find something you have in common to even talk about.
Meeting new people and making friends isn’t easy either. Whether you’re entirely new to a neighborhood or you’ve lived there your whole life, meeting new people can be a stressful and anxious experience.
But wouldn’t it be nice to have a friend who’s in the same place in life as yourself? Someone who’s also being woken up multiple times a night to breastfeed, comforting crying babies or helping their little ones finding their way to the bathroom in the dark.
Someone who doesn’t think it’s weird or disgusting to talk about poop, spit-up, strange rashes, and leaking breastmilk.
Someone who might even have the same style in clothing as you, the same dirty sweats from yesterday that is.
Having a mom friend is more helpful than you can ever imagine. However, the process of finding a new friend can feel awkward and even a bit frightening.
When you finally do find that one person that you click with, you’ll have someone who really gets it, that you can laugh with, get support from, and share your deepest fears with and then all that awkwardness will be worth it.
How to Meet New Mom Friends
All moms need friends. It doesn’t matter if she’s a new mom, a working mom, a single mom or a stay-at-home mom. Every mom needs a friend with kids of the same age as her own that she can turn to for advice or just to vent to.
However, making new friends can feel as awkward as the first day of high school.
Here are some tips to help you take the first step, breaking the ice, setting up the first play date and making it through the first awkward moments before you’ve become mommy friends.
1 Take the First Step
The first thing you have to do in order to find a new friend is to actually leave your house for once. I know that it’s comfortable to stay in that cozy couch of yours all day. But that’s is not where your new best friends hang out. Well, at least not yet that is.
The playground is the perfect spot to meet moms with kids the same age as yours. If your child is too young for the playground yet, you can go for a walk in the park and look for a mom with a stroller.
Okay so I know I told you that you have to go out to meet new people. But in all honesty, I met one of my closest friends on Facebook. Search for local facebook groups and write a short little personal ad and introduce yourself and how you’re looking for moms who want to set up a playdate.
A lot of hospitals arrange classes for new parents that you can attend when you’re pregnant. This is a great opportunity for you to connect with a new mom like yourself. Don’t know how to start the conversation? A simple “When is your due date?” should do it.
Sleep training class or a breastfeeding support group is also a great place for you to meet moms who are going through the same difficult phase as you. These support groups are full of women who can relate to what you’re going through plus; you might get some great parenting tips that you haven’t thought of yourself.
Online mom dating
2 Break the Ice
If you see a mom that you think you could connect with, go up to her and say “Hello”. If you wait around for an awesome mama to come up and talk to you, chances are you’ll have to wait around forever.
So how do you break the ice? You give the person a compliment and ask questions about her and her child. People love to talk about themselves and asking questions about a person is actually one of the ways to get a person to like, according to Dale Carnegie author of the book How to Win Friends & Influence People.
And I’m gonna let you in on a little secret. There is nothing moms love to talk about more. then their own kids. So asking questions about someone’s children is a great way to break the ice.
Another way to attract both kids and moms are to bring extra toys to the playground. Bring an extra bucket and shovel or a ball and invite kids to play with your kids. When your kids start to play together you can start talking to the mom and ask the name and age of her child and hopefully start a conversation.
3 Set Up the First Play Date
When you’ve found a mom that you feel could be possible friend material, don’t let her go! End the conversation by asking if they want to play in the park again tomorrow and set up a time to meet.
If she can’t meet again in the next couple of days, ask to exchange contact information. Some people don’t like to give out their phone number to people they don’t know so you could ask if it’s okay to add her on Facebook or Instagram.
If you just end the conversation by saying that it would be fun to play again someday, it may be months before you run into each other again.
After a couple of days, reach out to the mom you met and suggest a playdate at the park or to go for a walk with your babies in the strollers. A playdate outside is a great way to keep it casual until you get to know each other better.
Don’t feel beaten down if she doesn’t respond or reciprocate your feelings. Focus on connecting with other moms instead since clearly, this mom wasn’t your new mom friend anyway.
WANT TO REMEMBER THIS?
One thing that you need to keep in the back of your mind is that even though you are both moms and have kids of the same age, and live in the same town, that might be all that you have in common. But you should still go to the playdate with a positive attitude and hope for the best.
Finding a new best friend isn’t something you do in five minutes. You need to be patient if you want to form a deep and lifelong friendship. But the only way to find her is to put yourself out there and try and try again.